tonight your ghost will ask my ghost who put these bodies between us?

its been a looong while

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 03:07:11 GMT

Gahh i havent updated in forevvvvaaaa.
whats newwwwwwwwww.
schhhooool all the time, too much. kris got a new apt, its bigger but it smells and its crowded with kitties in the neighborhood and i love them. theres a bush with littttle kittens and they are so cute, but poor neighbor girl i feel bad for who has dirt all over her and whos parents drink all day, she dropped one and i thoguht its leg was broken! but its ok. eternal sunshine came out, kris bought it, that movie makes me so happy. garden state made me happy too.
uhm..
i dunno.

robot lover

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 22:30:26 GMT

soooooo the first week of school is over.
i guess its not -so- bad although i already have a sinking feeling im going to get behind in my online classes.
i have two of the lamest assignments for this wknd
1. i have to interview a girl i was paired with for speech and then we have to write speeches abotu each other...i always hate doing that crap for school cos i always feel weird and pretensious...they always mispronounce the bands or movies i like. they might as well say "she likes a bunch of weirdo bands youve never heard of, or wouldnt like anyway, and her taste in movies is weird aaaand shes not in any clubs or acitivities or sports or anything. thee end. gahhhh.
oh and 2. i have to figure out like how to take my jeans off with shorts over my jeans? or take my undawears off w/out my jeans or something, i forget which. but it confuses me.
so anyway, i am surprised and happy ive made friends in all my classes. last year i felt diseased or something. id go sit in the back and thered be two empty desks at either side of me, or just the 40 year old women with rolling suitcases for backpacks would sit by me. why am i so shy and anti social sometimes! im not truly. but i guess im not so scary to sit by this year so thats good.
anyway, johnny and cj left, im going to miss johnny being around.
and the worst news ever! brices dog died!!!!!
he was such a cool dog too.
but i spent the day making brice a card and it made me feel better about jojo dying, for some reason. so maybe it did him too.

so ive had an alright week....one of the reasons i had been dreading going back to sic was because of all the stupid bitches that will be there this year... maybe stupid bitches is harsh, just dumb girls i dont want to see.
[maegan/]
ive heard alot of shit about her lately. disgusting sad unself respecting usual stories i hear about her. and it jsut makes em hate ehr so fuckign much, it makes me want to spit at her and just tell her how fuckign stupid she is. but it also depresses the hell out of me. i mean we were so close for so long, like sisters. and it was only last winter she still called me her best friend. i dont know just to knwo someone you loved so much and believed in and felt so connected with could get so fucked up and ugly and decietful and just so gross. is just a bad feeling. and its like i feel like i cant escape her sometimes. no matter what its like she haunts me,a dn its liek this guilty gloomy feeling when i hear about her. i go on living my life all happy with the people i love and that care about me, and then someone will just tell me something, or she'll call me in a drunken mess and i jsut feel so horrible adn weak and sad. i feel like as lnog as im in harrisburg shes always going to weigh me down. i wouldnt be surprised if soon she came back to me too when she hit bottom. coming to me all skinny and limbs shaking knobby knees with a cigratte stuck inbetween her skeleton fingers. her flaky freckled skin wrapped too tight around purple veins. her face always loosk that way too, sobbing to me, greasy dark smears of circles for her eyes.
its always her teeth that make me want to punch her in her stupid sad face.
all small and childish and chipped.
telling of who she really is and everyone she has been.
she was once so twin to me, a sister with a shared heart. back when we hoped our paths would be crossed forever (we were too alike not to be best friensd we always said).
and now im just so fucking afraid its true.
Ughhh-sorry to rant but thats just been getting to me lately.

its poetry in motion

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 02:01:58 GMT

**I got bored and made a new lj layout today, checkcheckcheck check it outt!!!!

ughhhhh. so i started school today. im taking 18 hours, but i only had two classes but, geeeeeez. they suck. everyone in my classes wears bleach stained overalls, camo hats and have dirt on their faces. even the chicks.
i hate going back to school at sic, cos i always see people there i went to highschool with and god its 9 am and i feel lousy and i never liked them, and we'er both kind of looking down now wanting to say hi, but knowing its the proper thing to do and all. i just hate feeling obligated to say hi to people or teachers that i barely know or care to know.
is that bitchy?
i guess it is.
well i smile at people alot. just saying hi when you dont mean it seems lousy and is kind of a nervousing thing.
kris and i had so much fun today and i dont even know why, we just kept trying to make each other mad and being retarded and talking like kip from napoleon dynamite.
anyway, the real news for the day is this: my sister HANNAH and her b/f MICHAEL broke up!!!!!!
and HE DUMPED HER! wtf, hes never goign to get any better than her, and hannah told him that, but shes not sad. i think shes happy to be single.
soooooo i got a letter from sam today!! i immediatly wrote her back, so sam you should be expecting a letter from me soon.
..so i spent all night watching the jenna jameson story on VH1...and i find myself kind of liking her...in that i feel sorry for you kind of way.
then i realized, some girl there is like "jenna jameson is my HERO, i wanna BE her"...ew.

i have a crush on EVERY boy.

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 18:50:39 GMT

SO THEY DIDNT CANCEL AQUA TEENS!
i knew it, i knew they were just trying to fuck with us obsessive adult swim fans.

hmm what have i been up to lately.
i made john hiwendy to you gp'ers, a mix tape. its not a very good one. but maybe he will like it.
but taht inspired me to make myself a new mix, my cd burnning software is fucker up, so i was oldschool about it and made myself a tape.
its called "On the Prowl", side A. is called "get yourself all tarted up" and its sexy music to get in the mood for a date, side B is "Invite him back to your place" and is the music for what goes on behind closed doors.
and what ive realized through this is i like tapes cos they are neater, and because it takes more time and planning, its nice to recieve a mix tape.
but its shitty as hell to make one, like i always end up cutting songs off and never fiting the ones i really wanted on there and all. which is so annoyng, i can never makea perfect mix with a tape. but with cds im the mixfuckinmastah.

Anyway i had an interesting night saturday night.
i went out with sydney, and we found a semi used joint at my house,which she decided to smoke, and i guided her through (it ws her first time) but since it was her 1st of course she didnt get high, then we went to some laaaaaaaameassss party cos stuart wanted me to go, and he and i just got into a huge fight cos he was drunk and mean and acting like a jealous boyfriend.
so then
we went back to harrisburg, and we saw my sister and katrina hanging out with the hicks, so we joined them to chat, when some cowboys rode up to parker plaza on HORSES. and well sydney and i just couldnt resist. We talked the hicks into letting us ride the horses around town. it was alot of the horse almost stepping into traffic, us squealing and screaming and the horse being scared.
it was fun. only in harrisburg would i be riding a horse by the "cruise route" on a saturday night.
so then we go back to the house with hannah and katrina and katrina decides she feels like making out with someone.
so i call cj-no answer
call brice- noanswer
call johnny and i coerse him into comnig over.
so while hes on his way, katrina downs a bottle of whiskey, we decorate the downstairs in red candles and play al green.
then when he got here, we threw them both downstairs, we had to force johnyn he was hiding and scared as hell.
but it made for an interestng night.

she likes her hair to be real long, she uses tangerines

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 20:19:59 GMT

hmmmmm lets see what ive been up to. we had a birthday party for sydney. it was in my basement, we had scarves and candles everywhere, it was quite the atmospehere, we watched 13 going on 30 which was great then spiceworld!!! and we of course all remebered every dance scene in spice world and danced along with it. the little bitty 14 yr old neighboy boys spied on us and we caught them. so drunk birthday girl sydney flahed them her bra, then gave them cookies out of her boobs. those kids got on my nerves and i wouldnt let them come inside because as i kept telling them "you are like 7, and im like 23, go home or i will tell your mom". so finally the kiddies stopped bugging us, and sydney got the briliant idea to give old matt payne, our old best buf from jr high a buzz. so we call him up and he ends up coming over. which now that i think about it should have been more akward than it was considering we havent spoken to him in about 6 years. so then we decide to jump in the pool with clothes on. then sydney gets the great idea to go to my neighbor, tyler's window like we used to ages ago. so we try, hes not here, THANK GOD we didnt get caught, running around in the neighbors yard with wet clothes on, drunk as skunks. so then later i smash cupcakes in everyones faces then when matt does it back to me i pull his hair and make him leave. then stuart calls me, and i tell him to "stop trying to have phone sex with me" (which he wasnt even trying to do), and chew him out..so he was pissed at me the next day. but then i met up with him, he gave me this bracelet he got me in cancun and we're all cool now. BUT now i feel sooo shitty cos i drank. i mean when i said i would quit, i didnt mean permanently i jsut meant to really cut it out. and since it was sydneys birthday, i decided i could have a few drinks with her to celebrate and all. but i think that its not for me, its not ok to have a few drinks, not for me. and i think maybe im going to have to stop entirely, forget drinking on special occasions, just cut it ALL OUT. i think i will feel better about myself if i do that. so i think, thats what i am going to do.

Oh! say it aint so! true? kinda.

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 04:21:27 GMT

center>i am an indie snob!

How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're just too cool for school, aren't you? You're pretty narrow minded
and opinionated with regards to music (and probably most other things
as well). But you're allowed to be, because you really are better
than everyone else. You take pride in obscurity.
You probably prefer vinyl too, you elitist bitch.
</center>

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 02:43:12 GMT

im back from chicago!!!
sydney and i went and had a *lovely* time
we went shopping and i got:
* a pair of pointy toed yellow steve madden shoes
* some silver ballet flats
* a cute artsy looking floral yellow top
* green & black striped sweater
* and new jeans
did pretty well, we took the train to the city almost everyday, hung out, walked around, shopped
i looked at Columbia University and ive pretty much decided thats where i wanna go, theyve got an awesome *magazine* journalism program and the school is just artsy and pretensious enough for me :)
so they said i could probably transfer in spring if i want, so i gotta apply & decide. id like to, but thats pretty soon.
anyway i met up with kait and sam there! it was awesome we danced to spice girls, shouted lewd things about licking guys frlom their ass to their balls, and danced and sang our asses off to spice girls songs.
i didnt wanna come home! i was having so much fun prank calling ppl with sydney/ flashing boys on the road(bras only! im a choozy not a floozy)shopping and just ebing in the city.
i cant wait to escape the southern midwest and live in the city! i feel like i should start spining around ala mary tyler moore after i say that or something...
anyway maybe if youre lucky i will post a few of the "sexy" pictures sydney and i took afer a few drinks...its not so much sexy as it is hilarious.

3 yr aninversary pics!!!

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 23:00:27 GMT

so kris and i had a lovely aniversary wknd in st louis. i just got the pics back so LOOK AT THEM!!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/GOLDPURSEanniversary.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/GOAT2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/GOAT1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/KRISLUVSGOATS.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/KRISANDBIRD.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/PENGUIN.jpg]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/STATUE.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/ALCOHOL.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v384/thirdwavegrrl/INLOVE.jpg

we had such a great night! we stayed in the most glamourous hotel! it was a hotel that was soo super chic in the 40s, and they havent updated it, though its not run down, it was super shabby chic, and soooo nice.
so then we went out for sushi!!! my favorite, we ate a ton and it was great, we also had creme brulee for dessert :)

then we watched fireworks (romantic)

and the next day we had sucha fun day at the zoo (obviously of you saw the pics) & shopping & eating out at the hill in an italian restaurant

tonight your ghost will ask my ghost, who put these bodies between us?

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 16:29:54 GMT

today is the day kris and I celebrate our THREE year anniversary! we are going to go to st. louis and stay in a hotel, go someplace swanky to eat then the next day go shopping, to the zoo (!!!) and the art museum. im excited. i hope everything goes well, and i hope it quits raining so we can go to the zoo. last night we exchanged anniverary gifts, i got kris the aqua teens season 2 DVD, dashboard live cd & some dorky tolkien book. i also made him a card. i think he liked it. he got me- a cuuuute skirt from the express, its that material thats not quite houndstooth, smaller but kind of looks like it, but looks more like tv static, its all black & white & wool. anyway its knee length and has a big ribbon sash, im in lust, and a pink top from the express with a green flower broach, some tarot cards and a guide, zaireka, the falming lips cd, its totally fun, what it is isa 4 disc cd, but you play all 4 cds in different cds players at the same time and its just some crazy noses and music that sync up. we did it last night, it was rather cool. anyway he also got me a joni mitchell album, and he had it all in this antique cake holder thing.

So anyway i feel so blessed in cds today- yesterday i got a package from christen and she sent me sonic youth- daydream nation, and a cd from some fun band called of montreal, anyone else like them? also sydney indulged me in a guilty pleasure...i hate to admit..but yes she burned me the ashlee simpson cd, and terrible as that is, i like it damnit! so anyway yesterday i amde chrosten i package & went to wal mart to buy cute stickers to put on it and stuff, then me adn syd did a little crafting.
so anyway last night kris and i went to the fair, which was kind of romantic consideringits our anniversary, because thats what we did on our first date. but brice & krap's band rook played, and taht was really fun, i hadnt been to one of their shows in a long time and i really enjoyed it, and the boys looked like they were having fun. and i saw stuart at the show, he had been in cancun forever so i was glad to see him finally, it feels like i hadnt talked to him in ages. he said he got me a bracelet from cancun, but he thinks i wont like it, but i will im sure, just because thats nice of him to get me something. he also fell in love there. with some girl. and yeah im kind of happy for him, but damnit why do i have to be sucha bad person. i mean he called me last night and just babbled on & on about her, i was just like uh-huh, yeah not even listening. i mean i dont want stuart to like me, because dont like him at all, but im always annoyed when he's got some girl he likes. i wish i werent like that. UGGHH it makes me mad that im like that. its not like its a big deal, im not jealous, just annoyed. i dont know.
so last night brice kraps and blake sirach (sp) came over, it was fun i hadnt seen blake in forever and i like him pretty well. so it was a fun night.
and ive already got to start getting ready adn packing for st louis, ive got a new black ruffly dress to wear out and a gold glittery purse and matching heels. oooh lala.

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 05:49:04 GMT

today i woke up late for class, but luckily all we were doing was powerpoint and we did like a millllion of those in highschool. i thought i would never see old powerpoint again. so anyway the rest of the afternoon i was pretty bored, i started making kris a card for our 3 year anniversary, its all themed to aortas and maps and veins. so then kris comes by later, i kinda was bitchy, i dont know he and i are just at a weird place. we've just been hanging out as friends too much and not romantically and its making us feel like brother and sister rather than lovers. i dont know hopefully our anniversary weekend in st louis can help things out. i hope. or else i dont know..so anyway latr brice came by and we decided to dye his hair "midnight" which was alot of fun, even though he kept telling me he'd kick me in the twat if i messed up, then later kris, johnny & sydney all came by we didnt do much except hang out and talk but it was fun. then before johnny left i totally did his make up and put glitter in his hair, it was hawt.
so tomorrow sydney and i are goign shopping for kris's anniversary gift, i hopeeee i can find something.

just what i needed

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 03:54:26 GMT

today i woke up feeling just blah, not hating myself or so stuck, more hopeful and wanting to evolve. i felt just bored with everything and myself. so i did what any girl would, i went to wal mart to get that lovely instant pick me up in a box called hair dye. dying your hair is like an auotmatic ego boost. i dyed mine dark dark brown. its almost black, i stay away frlom black dyes cos theyre so hard to dye over. but anyway i like it, ive had aurburn hair for so long and it made me feel plainjane. with dark hair i always feel mysterious and at my prettiest. so i decided that my mysterious dark haired self's favorite color is green to match my eyes, and i wore my eyes smoky too, something i havent done in ages. so i felt really good. its just this summer is wearing on me. its been long but short. it feels short as in nothing has really happened all the days blend togteher into this menotonous bland long day, but thats the same way it feels long. not long, eternal. i jsut want it to end. i want a new feeling. i think each season has its own feeling, defenitly. i mean when i feel nostalgic for a time in my life its always categorized by season. and fall feels the best. fall fits me. it always has. its comforting and beautiful. im not one of those people who feel like i belong to summer, summer always has made me uneasy, nothing to do and so unorganized and streched out and hot and uncomfortable. i just want to break out my favorite sweaters and watch the leaves change and talk about halloween costumes, then i feel like i will be able to breathe, i will be over this summer sadness and feeling stuck. i will evolve, and be the girl with the dark hair in green, not just look like her. i'll be strong and interesting again, ill be back to myself.

ive tried all day to make a cd entitled "i think thats just what i needed, a pick me up mix, songs for when you feel like dying your hair andbeing someone else"
but ym fucking burner wont work, grrr!

i don't make trash i burn it

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 17:00:38 GMT

this weekend was alot of fun, friday- me, sydney, bruce, bryce and kris went to carbondale to see napolean dynamite, i reallly liked itm it kind of reminded me of a wes anderson film, i thought it was hilarious, im surpised its so mainstream already, but i guess that is good because i never find typical comedies funny, so maybe people will stop thinking such stupid shit is funny all the time. I dont know maybeits not taht much different of humor, its just dryer. anyway i wish could be the costume designer on that movie because it would be so funny. all you would need was the goodwill and the imagination of a nerd. so after got we got free pizza & then we went to my house and played with the ouja board, and yeah yeah its the energy in your figners whatever, but we had some crazy experiences with that thing! we talked to all these people from our highschool that died and they told us stuff about the afterlife and their lives and i dont know it was just crazy, gives me the chills. so anyway i keep thinking about it and now i think i mightbecome obsessed with the ouja again (i was for a time in jr high). i need to research it a little like brice did. i wanna know all the crazy stories & how it works & what not.
so anyway friday, me kris and brice went to marion (we were actually going to buy a ouja, the one we used was syds)but all i ended up buying were these cute little kids pastel hairclips. anyway i had fun going to marion, then later me and kris went on a little date to see the notebook, which was a dissapointment, i mean it was ok...but cheezy, predicatble, and not even that sad. like when she has to choose between her husband & noah, it would have been way harder. though the end was kind of good. so then kris and i went back to my house and since my paernts were out of town he stayed the night. i love sleeping with someone you love it is such a good feeling to fall asleep in someones arms that loves you, it feels so safe. so anyway i woke up this mronign kinda pissed because i dreamed that i bought the CUTEST tu-tu pink tulle skirt. and i t wa sonly a dream, damnit!

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 16:26:37 GMT

Yesterday was a good day.
i went to computer concepts class and that sucked, but we got out early and i came home adn took a nice hot shower then cleaned the house a little then got on girlpunk to be pleasently surpised there was a compliment thread which i posted in right away, those things make me so damn happy.
so then sydney came over and we rented confessions of a teenage drama queen and got a pizza and spent out afternoon eating and dorking out watching that movie (shut up we like our movies happy and cheezy!) then there was a storm so we sat outside and watched it. then kris came home from fishing and we met up with brice and went to carbondale and i wanted everything at the mall mainly because i have no money to spend. so then we went home and the power was out at our house and my mom was drunk and telling everyones fortune, so we hung out there then everyone went home and my parents went to bed and i wa slike fuck, its 10:30 powers out, i cant get online, listen to music, i cant do shit, so i went over to brice's and hung out. and thats about it.
sydney and i planned a trip to chicago to visit schools, we'er going to first week of august taking thr train and staying with her sister, so kait & sam if you read this, this means we've got to meet up one night for dinner or something! i miss you guys like mad.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 14:43:20 GMT

*The \\*
Last Cigarette:	its been ages
Last Alcoholic Drink:	again, ages
Last Car Ride:	to school this morning in the volvo
Last Kiss:	last night before kris left
Last Good Cry:	yesterday i had a good cry sitting in the driveway just for everything that is fucked..i also cried while watchign sex in the city (shut up! it was the one where carrie tells aiiden she cheated on him, ok and im on my period)
Last Library Book:	books researching kate chopin
Last book bought:	catcher in the rye- salinger
Last Book Read:	short stories called how to breathe underwater
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:	fahrenheit 9/11
Last Movie Rented:	the butterfly effect i think
Last Cuss Word Uttered:	i dont think ive said anything all morning, probably singing along to bright eyesin my car- hang like a star fucking glowing in the dark
Last Beverage Drank:	C2
Last Food Consumed:	a burger for dinner last night
Last Crush:	morocca
Last Phone Call:	stuart; last night
Last TV Show Watched:	sex in the city
Last Time Showered:	um i bathed last night
Last Shoes Worn:	polka dot sandals
Last CD Played:	bright eyes mp3s in my car
Last Item Bought:	shirt on sale, sas the poconos is for lovers
Last Download:	rufus wainwright
Last Annoyance:	this class. ughh computer concepts
Last Disappointment:	getting called into work
Last Soda Drank:	C2 last night
Last Thing Written:	my name
Last Key Used:	e
Last Words Spoken:	do i turn this in here
Last Sleep:	just about an hour ago
Last Ice Cream Eaten:	hot fudhe sundae couple days ago
Last Chair Sat In:	this one
Last Webpage Visited:	girlpunk- its hopping lately
Create a survey!

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 04:14:47 GMT

Oh yes.
im selling everything on ebay.

[url=http://cgi6.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=kristopherkeating&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=50]you know you want it![/url]

buy!

Teresa Collingsworth

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 17:48:32 GMT

so chriosten left yesterday morning, we had such a great visit. it wa so ncie to have a best girl friend around. even though she and my mom talked about smoking pot and then christen proceeded to ask her if she wanted to smokea bowl, thank god she declined but yeah we mainly just alked, watched i love the 90s, had girlie time, hng out with the boys. it was nice. i bought the cutest argyle sweater vest fomr wal mart too that she picked out. its lavender with pink argyle and its a kiddie size 8 so its snug adn cute but fits well, i probably wouldnt have bought it but it was a bit of retail therapy because kris was being a stupid boy. but anyway christen left sat morning and it was super sad, so then kris and I went to evansville because he had to get a buncha videogames and that night we went to go see fahrenheit 9/11 which i thought was really good. it was extremly disturbing though, all the business ties with money & oil were surprising, but the things that were most disturbing to me were like the graphic shots of the civillians killed, and the part where the american soldiers are talking about how they listen to music in battle *shudder* that really gave me the creeps. what did everyone else think of the movie?
anyway, so later i made kris watch reality bites because VH1 is making me nostalgic for the 90s :)

I'll play with your mind but I won't do your dishes boy!

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 22:03:44 GMT

Christen got in last night! i spent last night jsut siting around watching i love the 90's waiting for her (wasnt 1995 fabulous?!?!) anyway so we've been catching up and having such a gerat time. she brought me this GORGEOUS most beautiful GOLD sequined round shaped hangbag from spain, it is the single most glamourous thing i now own. i am in love with it, and lucky for me i owne a pair of opened toed heels tht are gold sequined across the toe with a lucite heel, i know i know those sound total strippery but theyre more marilyn than whorehouse trust me, its NOT the the lucite disco heels you are thinking of. and I gave her the funky clarrisa explains it all type bracelet. so its all good we've been reminicing on the gradeshcool and jr high days and swimming and just hanging out. we even went to claires and bought those corny best friends forever necklaces for the hell of it! but really ours are so damn cute, theyre little pink bows that say best and friends. how darling is that! so anyway i dont know what we are doing tonight, probly see what kris & brice are up to.
<3 xx.

Oh my gahhh

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 19:10:46 GMT

christen in coming in tonight!
finally,a girlfriend to talk to and hang out with!
gahhhhh! im so excited i could pee my pants.
i dont even care about the fight i gt into with my parents now.
i feel like goign thrift shopping
or buying somehting reallllly expensive.
either cheap salvayion army
or 200 dollar heels.

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 22:32:49 GMT

so yesterday sydney came over and i gave her the gift from florida, we had a little craft day, had some fun then later syd brice and I had a celebration in honor of i love the 90s, we broke out the sparkling grapejuice (4th of july limited edition thank you! we are a classy bunch) and watched, and it was nice morocca, michael ian black and hal sparks= all my boyfriends. but mainly we delved into gradeschool 90s memories (ocean storm!)until some kids in the neighborhood started knocking on the windows and i got all scared. so anyway i went back to my fucking computer class for the 1st time in forever, ugghhh 3 hours of learning to add text and delete it in microsoft word, that is indeed a remedial summer class for fuck ups and retards. its all old ladies and skanky girls with too much eyeliner (espeically for 9 am) with blonde hair and mouths that hang stupidly half open all the time, like they cant shut them all the way. ewww. i hate stupid girls way more than stupid boys. maybe because i ama girl and i feel like somehow theyre all making my sex look dumb. anyway i went to the therapist today and i was all ready to talk about my vivid flashbacks and memories that are totally depressing me, though theyre not even like disturbing, but all hes wanted to do was talk about my friends and what i do for fun and going away to school..and that actually kind of made me happy and feel "together" and sane. so then syd came over and we began planning a trip to chicago while finishing our leftover crafts from yesterday. we're going to go look at colleges, uiniversity of chicago? loyola? university of illinois in chicago? could i even get into these schools? probably not. oh well. so anyway its technically mine and kris's 3 year anniversary but we're not celebrating it until like next wknd, but 3 years! i wouild say thats an admirable feat for a 19 year old girl! most girls would have cheated and got all skanky and bitchy by now.
anyway i have recently discovered the beautifulness that is the velvet underground. pure perfection.

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 02:45:10 GMT

so i just got back from st. george island, it seemed i was only there for like one long melted day instead of a whole week. it was great though, just a blur of the beach, riding on scooters through the island, the ocean, the stars, tacky gift stores, sushi, the island art gallery, always being sandy even when i take showers, collecting seashells and sand dollars. so yeah it was cool. the little things stick out the most, the fosflourescent that was on the beach at night taht just made the sand grains glow neon in the dark and look glittery, and would make your hands glow if you touch it, or how when the clams got washed up on shore how they would burrow themselves down in the sand, or how close the dolphins let us swim to them the last day.
kris hada special date set for us, we were going to go into tallahasse to see iron and wine! i was so excited we got there all early but we sat ther4e for awhile when we ealized somethign wasnt right and then we found out iron and wine had played there monday, and it was wednesday, that sucked pretty bad but i got all weirded out because the place this concert was at was called the betah bar, and i wa slike i ahev ehard of this before, it felt so deja vu, and then when we foudn out irona dn wine wasnt playing, that there was a band called me without you playing i was like, ive heard of that band but i dont knwo how, then i got ALL freaked out, like it was too weird to deja vu like i knew it before it happened, like i went back in time or something and i got all cold and started to feel like i always do, small like im slipping back in ym body and dizzy, and delving xomehwew deep nside my brain. ever since my anxiety and weird experiecnes i have a terrible grip on reality. i can get myself so freaked out sometimes, life jsut weirds me out, its hard to explain but i get so into my thoughts and weird things and then ill realize taht every iother person has their own different world in their brain too and i get all weirded out because no matter how much you think you know someone you have no idea about all their crazy thoughtd and how it looks or feels inside them, i dont konw i cant explain it i jsut get all weird and crazy about every little thing. i mean soemtimes i will look at people eating and get weirded out because i will feel like we are just animals really and what makes us diferent or we're disgusting machines. i dont know. ive been thinking about how im going to explain all this to my counsler and i dont know..i feel liek n one gets what im saying and then i feel all alienated and young and 11 years old.
ANYWAY, im geting out of that.
so, im home and it feels good to be in my room. im glad cos i didnt even get tired of kris! its kind of sad i cant jsut walk down from my house right out onto our own private beach anymore, but that st george place is TOO FUCKING YUPPIE FOR ME. it kind of made me hate myself for being there, all these rich white old men bastards in their white and khaki, playing tennis with their blonde boobjobbed wives, it made me feel sick.
anyway it still feels good to be home

do you need a woman to look after you..

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 23:28:10 GMT

all day ive just been packing, not very fun but whatev
i went and got stuff for the trip last night and kris got me the cuuuuutest book ever called style by kate spade from target, its so awesome. and then i got sidetracked by some hot pink sparkly stuff at the 10 for 5 stand at claires and ending up getting the cutest shit, 10 for 5 is such a good deal i can NEVER pass it up.
then me brice and kraps watched aqua teens, and it was like THE BEST 2 episodes ever. anyone else watch it last night? it was the best.
so today ive not been doing shit, i found myself sucked into the ashlee simpson show...which i admit...i like!
ic ant help it! theres soemthing about her that is actually genuine, she is real and seems pretty normal and still sweet and the more i watch her the more cute she becomes. and her boyfriends are HOTTT. so then i had to go to the store and i see on the all trtashy magazines that mary kates problem is not anorexia..but cocaine...I KNEW IT!

attn. ppl from gp

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 17:23:26 GMT

well first im sorry but i need to rant about girlpunk, and i think those of you on my livejournal who re members will understand. i just recently started psoting there again when i realized (again) how much it really has changed. I can't even make posts i really want to sometimes (asking questions in sex-love-health, etc.) because I know someone will ridicule it or use it against me. And im sure I'm not the only one who feels they can't talk openly about everything anymore.
It used to be such a tolerant, open place where girls would help each other with issues we understood, self esteem, sexuality, whatever.
now all of that is gone. when kristina and I ran sex/love/health the other forusm were all suffering but we worked really hard to keep sex-love-health tolerant and tried to still maintain that old girlpunk charm, that openess and lovingness to everyone.
i dont want to blame but i think it changed when alot of boys started posting there, not that we shouldnt let them, but we sure as hell shouldnt let them CHANGE the ambience, personality and very being of the boards. but we did, so many members changed when alot of new guys signed up...
not that i hate the boys there! there are a handful of understanding sensitive guys who never try to purposely tear down our self esteem or attack of just for being girls and you should know who you are (yes cory this means you, you are a great one)
and yeah its "just a messageboard"...or thats what it is to me now. but it used to be a really great place, "breaking up the boys club"....please theyve already broken us up.

Anyway, yesterday me and brice and kris were supposed to go on a boat ride...we ended up getting a flat tire and waited for 2 hours! and yeah it sounds really boring but for some reason i had fun..me and brice just kept taking turns hitting each other with a drumstick, why that was so much fun? i have no idea.

all you cling-ons in the fuckin house

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 19:16:07 GMT

yesterday i was sooo bored, i did nothing all day until finalyl johnny adn brice came over at like 9 and we hung out,brice wore my sz.4 jeans around, tey wree skin tight, it was hilarious. then we went and hung out at family video...we didnt rent anything we just hung out, how loser-y is that? oh well it was a good time. then kris came by when he got off work and i did brices hair, i straightened it and it looked horrible so i just spiked the back up like one of those semi dykey skanky girl haircuts and sprayed gold glitter all over it which i dont think he appreciated but he looked pretty.
i had a weird dream that i was going to a concert and it was like sleater kinney, but just corin, but corin was kris's cousin lauren, and the other girl in the band was brice, with the hairstyle i gave him dressed as a plain indie dykealicious kine of gal. isnt that weird?
i had to go get some EEG rain test shit done today...and i jsut feel better and i felt like i didnt want to do it or need it and i guess i didnt cooperate well....like theyd be like what was that brainwave what were you thinking about, and id just be like, i dont know! cos i didnt or it would be soemthing stupid like, oh heres a rip in my jeans, or this guy is so lame..but yeah i looked pretty normal so thats GOOD.
im leaving for fl on saturday!!!!!!!!!
i cant fuckign wait to just sit on st george island's beaches not doing shit all day.

work jsut called me and left a message assking for me to work on thurs...damnit....should i go to holiday world or work?

peaches & cream

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 18:43:09 GMT

today is hannahs (my sister) birthday, we went out last night for chinese for her b-day and sydney and i went shopping and got her a ton of cute shit. yeah last night we went to brice's to watch adult swim and brice and johnny read the old cybering convo between bryce and lindsey it was hilarious, especially the part mentioning how the clit was located IN the vagina. that was enlightening. then brice and kris decided to go fishing and kicked me out of brices bed which was very comfy i just wanted to stay and sleep. my parents have been dicussing going to chicago for a visit and hannah and i might have to stay here for school or whatev, but if they do then we totally have to have a bangin' party....i'd like to throw a themed shindig myself..but what theme?
80s dance party?
super swinging psychadelic mod party
disco?
anyway, i'm thinking of making a new terrible guilty pleasure mix, one themed to sex-eh dancing girlie guilty pleasure songs, but the only ones i know have to def. be on it are that mya song, my love is like whoa (no girl can hear that song and NOT feel sexxy) and beyonce naughty girl, but i need help with this, so make me some suggestions!!!! its just gotta be terrible sexy dance music.

by the way, who likes my new pic? its all blurry cos it was taken in a photobooth, but i cant pass those old style photobooths up..

Sun, 27 Jun 2004 18:44:17 GMT

as brice posted in his journal we had the most uneventful day yesterday, except i got new delicously gorgeous bedding from target, all light blues and green and pink stripes. i jsut wanna lounge in it all day. man i am turning into a fucking mallrat! ugh! i had to go thurd to the mall w/mom to get hannahs b day presents, then me and syd went fri. so she could pick up some shoes and so we could drool over the hotties who work at ruby tuesdays, then sat kris had to get new shorts so we went and today me adn syd gotta get hannah a gift from us! jesus i am malled out it sucks. so anyway all i have really been up to lately is getting sucked into VH1 specials, those when (something) ruled the world get me everytime, and today tehre was a big one of pop culture and racism it was very well done...i am just counting down the days till i love the 90s. whos with me!?
oh, by the way what do you guys think the i love the 90s themesong will be like?
i love the 80s was all robotic and new wavey
i love the 70s was all soulful.
im thinking maybe all la-bouche dancey?
or all boy band-ey?
or grunge?
lets make our bets.